Te va nytta? - Till glädje

For what good? - for happiness

Picking up things laying around in our lobby... Opening a drawer with baby stuff. Pictures from delivery, first shoes and so on.
There are Jacob's "real" leather boots that he got from aunt Ellen and Ucle John when they lived in Texas. He wore them with blue jeans and a real jeans jacket with fur color. He was only two months old and laying in his pram. So cool!
Pictures of Erica and Carin holding their newborn little brother! Looking so happy and proud!
16 years later he is laying in a coffin, his favorite gym shoes on. We just did not know what to do with them, they were his pride and joy. He thought they were so cool. Dave and I talked about it. We could not throw them away - so we let them go with him.

There were pictures of me in the delivery room before birth, full of anticipation. And the tired first picture with Jacob on my stomach. He was big, it had been sooo painful. All thay pain - for what use - 16 years and the train hits him and is no more. Pain that will never go away. He will never be again. Not here. Not now. Never to share a joke with. Never to talk about God with. Never to get irritated at. Never in this world.
For what reason?
The only answer is: for the reason of JOY. For all he gave. For all that he was. For the little brother who cared so for his two sisters. For being a son so full of joy.

Now he is walking the golf courses of Heaven. Not knowing time. Not suffering time. He just is. And so will we one day. One day in Heaven. There will only be one day in Heaven. An eternal bright one day.